Just to start off, I want to say that fun finds us. We don't even have to look for it, and it's awesome. If you don't sit around doing nothing, you'll be amazed with all of the fun experiences that appear before your very eyes. So here's tonight's account of fun...
Anna, Angela, Hannah, and I decide to take a nice stroll on the boardwalk after dinner on Thursday night. We saw crabs everywhere and a dead floating red snapper in the water. That is some cool stuff to us marine biology nerds. And then we saw a bunch of fishermen on the pier, which means super cool fish to try an identify. (Again, we're marine bio nerds on a secluded island. This is our idea of a fun way to spend our free time.) And then there was a man who caught a Cow Nose Ray. Super cool. But he didn't want to eat it, so he was going to throw it back. This is a brilliantly sustainable thought, and I approve. However, this fisherman then did something awful. He took a giant hook and stabbed the ray, right in the middle of the thing. This is
not how you throw fish back in the ocean. I have seen this far too many times, and it's time to give a lecture to everyone on this planet. Please allow me to enlighten you...
If you stab something with a giant hook, it will bleed out and die. I know this sounds crazy, but it can and will happen to even the best of us. The ray is no threat to people. Its barb is easy to avoid, and its spiracles are even easier to grab. So there is no need to be afraid of it. You caught it, you can release it. When accidentally catching a ray, grab it by the spiracles (openings above the eyes- very easy to see), take the hook out of its mouth, and throw it back into the ocean. Easy peasy. Even I can do this without freakin out or being stabbed by its tail. And the thing will live! Amazing. It's a waste to put a fish back into the ocean if you stab it with a giant hook and watch it bleed out on the pier. It's going to die, so why bother throwing it back?? End rant.
Back to the topic at hand... There was a ray with no hope of survival and this guy is about to throw it back into the ocean to rot. Not on my watch! If it's going to die, let's not waste its life. We shall use it FOR SCIENCE!!! (You know, if you add "FOR SCIENCE" at the end of phrases, it makes them sound much more legitimate. So next time you are doing something weird, say "FOR SCIENCE" and no one will judge. Seriously, it works every time.) So we grabbed life by the spiracles and decided to dissect the ray. At least we can learn some cool things from it.
Obviously, this ray is destroyed thanks to the fisherman. But we're going to use it FOR SCIENCE!!!
How to dissect a ray:
1) Cut off the tail. Got to do this so that you are in zero danger of the barb stinging you and so that it is out of the way when trying to look at its insides.
2) Carry the ray by spiracles and transport it to a place to dissect it. In our case, walk down the pier, across the street while being stared at by crossing cars and boats, walk all the way across campus, to under the classroom, and place on a mat. Yes, we looked really normal doing this, walking our ray dripping with blood. And Anna was wearing a white shirt... Miraculously, nothing got on her. Not a drop of blood. This, my friends, is an amazing feat. Especially for us scientists who get dirty with absolutely everything we do.
Transporting our ridiculously heavy ray.
3) Collect your dissecting tools. Unfortunately, ours were locked up, so we used a couple of hunting knives that we carry on us. (PS- Don't mess with us.)
4) Cut off fins. These can be eaten, if you are interested. Make scallops out of them. I'm sure it would be delicious. We, however, have no kitchen or anything to cook with, so the fins just went off to the side. We did see that our ray was very muscular though. It was impressive.
5) Cut along the side of the vertebrate and remove connective tissues inside to take out the gut. The gut contains all of the super cool stuff: liver, stomach, spleen, kidneys, lungs, eggs, and it's connected to the esophagus. This is also time consuming if done correctly. So if you aren't using a lab (because it's locked) and squatting under a classroom like us, you will not only have super cool ray parts, but also super buff legs. (And super sore legs the next day- but that's what 2.5 hours of squatting will do to you!)
6) By now the ray is pretty much in a million pieces and looks like this... And look, Ma, no teacher!! We did it all by ourselves. We're some proud future marine biologists here. Oh, and pretty beastly. Some of this was hard to get with our hunting knives (scalpels really are much more suitable for this type of work), so we resorted to ripping some of this apart with our hands. Not the best lab techniques, I'll admit. But I like to think of it as excitement and dedication to our dissection.
When done dissecting and learning all things about ray anatomy, it's time to clean up. First, claim the skeletal and preservable parts. I get the jaw bone, and I'm super excited! Then the vertebrate will be shared by Hannah, Anna, and Angela. And both Hannah and Angela got eyeballs that they are attempting to preserve in formaldehyde. So that is all way cool!!
But clean up for real...
1) Dispose of unwanted parts.
Let's throw the ray parts back into the ocean!
We walked to the beach, praying we wouldn't step on crabs and then threw the remains into the ocean. It's important to note that we did not go into the ocean. It was pitch black outside, and we just threw bloody remains into the waves. No thank you, I do not want a shark bite tonight! But we decided that you could have the "perfect murder" here. We cleaned up really quickly by throwing everything in the water, it was dark and no one saw us, and there was no trace of us when we left because footprints are washed away by the tide. Just sayin. This is gold for all you crime tv show writers out there. You're welcome.
2) Put the bone you want to save into a giant ant hill. Seriously. We put ours in an ant hill that is between 3-4 feet high. You don't really need one that big, but you want the ants to clean the bones for you. Less work for you, and you don't have to worry about destroying the bones with your beastly muscles tearing at the bones.
3) Wash everything! It smelled real bad when we were done. Two and a half hours of cutting a ray in the hot, humid weather makes for a less than pleasant aromatic compound taking over your nostrils and getting all over your clothes. And we also washed the ground really well. Don't want any critters coming for the little ray pieces. That would not be any fun.
4) Reward yourself with a milkshake. After your very soapy, very long, very hot shower, of course.
And that's how you do it guys. If you ever find a ray stranded, begging to be dissected (dead), then call me up. I see myself as an expert in this matter now, and would love to make you an expert too. And you can get a cool ray bone!